For the first time in a handful of years, the Seahawks missed the playoffs, therefore leaving me no dog in this fight. Usually, I try to tack myself onto a bandwagon, but the group of remaining teams leave me little to like. Let’s go through the list:

NFC

  • Green Bay - Aaron Rodgers has grown more and more insufferable. Packers fans are already insufferable. My Hawks also have a horrible track record at Lambeau, so I just naturally despise that place and the team that plays there.
  • San Francisco - They’re a division rival and therefore can go to hell.
  • Tampa Bay - The equivalent of a NBA superteam. No way for me to respect it.
  • LA Rams/Arizona - Also division rivals; therefore, they can also go to hell.

AFC

  • Tennessee - Nothing to really hate here. Decent group built from the ground up. I respect that.
  • Kansas City - The war chant has to go. Replace it with “Seven Nation Army” or something. Plus, as likable as Patrick Maholmes is, his family outside of his father is unbearable.
  • Buffalo - Josh Allen is becoming more and more likable. Unfortunately, he’s teammates with loudmouth anti-vaxxer Cole Beasley. If a wolverine devoured Cole’s leg in his sleep before next week’s game, I wouldn’t be mad. I’d start a charity in that wolverine’s name.
  • Cincinnati - Also, a generally likable group. Built the right way. Respectable.

So, there you have it. It has to be either Tennessee or Cincinnati. Those are the rules.